Political Humor

Posted Thu, 03/09/06

A pal sent me the following comic bit titled "Friends Don't Let Friends Vote Republican." I've whittled it down from the original version:

Things you have to believe to be a Republican today.....

  • Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

  • Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

  • The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

  • A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

  • A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

  • The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

  • Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host: Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

  • What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

I won't be snippety and chuckle knowingly because I promised myself to be kinder to those folks on the opposite side of the fence.

Tags: Politics