Posted Tue, 01/08/08
I finally received Foofer's ashes this morning. I'm here to tell you the passage of time has not lessened my heartache or eased my intense emotional pain. I'm not sure if I will ever be able to fully recover from his loss.
I had an appointment for both Rainee and Kiki to see the doctor for routine procedures this morning (a nail trim for Rainee and two shots for Kiki), when the doctor who took care of Foofer at the end gave me the little cedar box containing his remains.
I couldn't stop crying – again. It's as if receiving Foofer's ashes is final proof that he is really gone, and I can't bear it. I wasn't even able to open the cedar box to look at his ashes because I just can't do it – not yet. Gazing at his name etched on the box – with his dates of birth and death – was almost too much for me to endure. I've since wrapped the box and stored it under my bed for safekeeping.
(Pictured above): The cedar box containing Foofer's ashes. Click on image to see larger size in a new window.
When the day comes and I can look inside the box, when I can put together the home movies I have of Foofer, and when I can put all the mementos I've gathered in my safe deposit box – to be held until someday I too slither off into the hereafter - then perhaps I will be on the road to emotional recovery.
Until then, forget about it.