Seven Months On
Posted Tue, 07/08/08
I have avoided talking about Foofer on my blog for a long time. It's not because I have forgotten him or that the pain of his loss has lessened. Quite the contrary. I feel such a void without him, as if my emotional strength has been sapped since his passing. He was like my knight in shining armor, my anchor, and I have yet to replace any of that. I doubt I ever will.
(Pictured above): My favorite photo of Foofer and me, taken in the year 2000 when he was three-and-a-half years old and I was thirty-nine. Click on the image to see it's larger size in a new window.
Unconditional love is almost a non-entity in the world today, but I had it with Foofer for perhaps the only time in my life. I keep a framed picture of him on my desk and I look at it frequently during the day. Sometimes I can smile at his photo, other times I dissolve into tears because I miss him so much. However, I still cannot bring myself to look at his ashes or watch the videos I filmed of him.
On occasion I have my doubts about the reality of heaven – do we really go on to a better life after we die or do we just cease to exist? I guess there is only one way to find out but I'm not ready yet. When I am and if there is a heaven, I want to meet up with my beloved Foofer again and remain with him for eternity. Otherwise, what's the point?
Sounds crazy, I know, but I can't help how I feel.