Few & Far Between

Posted Fri, 05/02/08

During the recent misery that was my outpatient surgery and the events leading up to it, a few illuminating events occurred.

  • A male friend was more concerned about the progression of our relationship and his feelings in the matter than he was with my health or the seriousness of it all. He apologized later, but I've discovered after three marriages that most men show their true colors early on. I've ignored the warning signs in the past, much to my dismay. Not anymore. Ridiculous little issues typically take on huge proportions later on. Needless to say, there is no longer a progression of any kind of relationship with the above mentioned person.

  • Another male friend didn't bother to call or check on me until after he thought my primary surgery was to take place, therefore not realizing it had been postponed until the middle of May. I didn't buy his "Oh I didn’t realize" routine for one second. Of course he would have realized if he had bothered to find out or show any real concern. Some men are so transparent that it's incredulous. Another one bites the dust.

  • Yet another male friend – who I mistakenly thought was genuine – didn't even bother to find out when my surgery was taking place nor did he ask how I was feeling at any point, but was quick to drop hints about his own minor medical mishap and traveling work assignments. His lack of concern is a surprise because I thought he was different than all the rest, but apparently I was wrong. I don't give a damn if I ever hear from this person again. He is a great disappointment as a friend, sorry to say, and like most men has let me down in royal fashion. I think perhaps he was also slightly miffed because I did not take a romantic interest in him after we met, but I can't force something I just don't feel.

  • On the bright side, there were a handful of friends (including my estranged husband) who were caring; who gave me the space I needed but also let me know they were there for me if I needed them.

Now is a good time to weed out the negative and disingenuous from my life. I don't want to waste time – not even a few precious moments – with another loser or game-player again. I should listen to my first instincts about a person rather than give them a chance because so far in my forty-six years those instincts have proven to be right on the mark in the end.